"I wanted to destroy everything beautiful I'd never have. Burn the Amazon rain forests. Pump chlorofluorocarbons straight up to gobble the ozone. Open the dump valves on supertankers and uncap offshore oil wells. I wanted to kill all the fish I couldn't afford to eat, and smother the French beaches I'd never see. I wanted the whole world to hit bottom.” ― Chuck Palahniuck
Nothing matters anymore. Everything is being torn asunder. Like that of a towering inferno, the dancing flames destroying everything that lies in its path. All the things that you know and love are caught amidst the fiery tempest; like the flames were alive and mocking you. The heat searing into memory and the pain unbearable. The thought of escape impossible. An overwhelming sense of dread and fear palpable.
On the tethering edge of your sanity you begin to question everything. Including reason itself. Engulfed by desire; of the things you want, you love and cannot have. Images, distant and near, of a life that you once held and is fraying at the edges.You think of the cruel joke that a madman would play on a child who has that lollipop snatched away from him at the last moment. The once happy child reduced to tears and that madman being god.
I am you and you are me. One is all and all is one.
The things I seek, the women I want and people I want to possess. Everything a disaster. I have bottomed out. I try to make peace with the darkness, solitude and alienation but there is none.The chorus of the void beckons me, Death and life are coalesced into a singularity. Time ceases to exist. All that remain are memories. Hazy and nebulous like a dream. The faces vague and forgotten. I wonder if anything was real to begin with or everything just a lucid dream?